For one of our assignments, we are supposed to write a rhetorical précis on either the article written by Brooks, Tannen, or Young. In my group, I chose to write mine on "His Politeness is Her Powerlessness" by Deborah Tannen, and it made me wonder why we talk a certain way: is it something we chose to do or are we conditioned to speak with a certain type of style?
I, being a girl, agree that women do talk with a sort of implication. When there's something that I want, I simply hint at it instead of asking for it. Many times have I said, " Wow, I'm hungry," instead of "Can I have something to eat?" Women take it upon themselves to try to be more polite instead of directly saying that they want to say.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzL-vdQ3ObA This video is something I came across once on Tumblr. It is from a Pantene commercial, but if you watch the entirety of it, you see that this is another habit that women have. The video is a representation of how women need to stop apologizing for the little things that aren't necessary for it such as when someone bumps into us or when we are trying to get a person's attention. I realized what this "sorry" was really for; it's a crutch that we feel like we must use to justify every action we do, just in case they might offend someone.
Regarding this video, Deborah Tannen reasoned that men may believe that a simple "sorry" symbolizes defeat, which is why women apologize more often than men do. Maybe it has to do with the fact that at a young age, we were simply taught to be polite and try to please, so we find ourselves apologizing for things that may not even have to do with us.
The great thing about this is if we acknowledge our behavior, we know that we can change it. We shouldn't have to apologize for things being out of our control. It's okay to not try to please everyone and be polite all the time. Just be yourself.
I honestly say sorry a lot . But its a natural instinct . Ive noticed i was say it to the guys because i feel shelled and like i shouldn't have been like that to them. I make myself look weak and thats the problem. As a "girl" i have the automatic emotion turned on .
ReplyDeleteI don't think that this natural reaction to automatically apologize applies only to women. I know for a fact that I do the same thing even now as an adult, especially in the work place. Although women do choose the indirect route over the direct route, I feel it has to do more with the fact that women care much more about what others think than men do. They choose to not directly ask for what they want because someone might possibly perceive them as rude, whereas men tend to care more about what they themselves think. That's the way I see it at least.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you Jeremy because I as well apologize automatically especially when I am at work. But yes, I do care a lot about what others think and I do agree that boys in general care less about what others think.
DeleteI really like that video. I think the reason most girls say sorry so much is because we have such low self confidence. The end of that video shows how we should just be straight up and not have to worry about being "sorry" because there's no reason to be.
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